Resistance and Its Effects
In life we all face moments of resistance. Moments where we feel like the right answer is that one thing we really don’t want to do. Does that actually serve us?
Lets look at an example: Say you really really want donuts and there is a big box on the table in the staff room. What do you do? Well, a few months back I would say AVIOD THE DREADED SUGAR!! You will probably die an early death if you do… (maybe not that dramatic, but not far off). So, you decide to avoid the donuts because you are a strong woman and you are on a diet because your Mexico vacation is just around the corner.
Can I spoil the ending for you? I bet you a lot of bucks you either pound back the dried up end of the day left over donut no one wanted after a long day on your feet or, you get home and reach for the closest substitute to that delicious sugary treat you could have had earlier. To make matters worse you are now holding the Nutella tub and the spoon so you spoon back as much as you can before your guilt can figure out what’s going on. If you’re me however, you come home make some sort of no sugar avocado substitute that tastes “OK”, and the following week you leave a mess of take out containers all the way to your guilt dungeon where you vow to never eat anything bad for you ever again and Google yourself to sleep reading about “body types” and “the effects of sugar”.
Or maybe you nail it, avoid the sugar, enjoy the avocado chocolate like snack and have lost 50 lbs ten years ago and haven’t gained a sniff back…. But you are a rarity.
Lets change the narrative. Ok same office, same donuts, same Mexico vaca. What if… just hear me out…. You cut off a small bite of your favorite donut. Shut the door for a few delicious seconds, poured a splash of hot coffee, and just took some time out for you. Smell the scents, think about where all the ingredients may have come from in the world, take a small bite and try to pick out every flavor. Allow yourself to get lost in it. Have a sip of coffee and combine the flavors. Finish the piece and remember the sensations. Take a few deep breaths and head back to work. Then, most importantly, don’t beat yourself up about it!!! I bet you the same money your evening after work snack goes a lot better and so too does your “take out” night.
I don’t mean to just talk about food however, in this example can you see why one path may lead to bad habits and the other could result in eventual great habits. Think of any area of your life friends, where you believe resistance and cutting out the good stuff will serve you? What happened? What was the result? For me the story is the same. Deny myself entirely of anything I love and I end up forming some terrible habit. I’m not saying you should dive into only pleasure and never self regulate. What I am saying is stop denying ALL good things in the name of success (in any area). I personally don’t think success built on only “doing it the hard way” is true success. You are just left with a regimented routine you will never stick to.
Let me be clear, there is a small part of the population who can go through life without any guilty pleasures at all. Although I respect it, I am not one of those people and if you are into self-care you are not either.
So, I challenge you to allow yourself that small bite, that RnR day or that movie night. Here is the secret though to long term success, take it ALL in, every moment, every sensation and every smell. As a result you feel satiated. Friends, I’ve spent (and I think you have too) too many movie nights thinking about how I really should being doing something or getting something done. You know what I got from it? Nothing. I don’t even remember the story lines. I beg you to allow yourself pleasure along side effort in your life.
Balance is the key. A River works best when you allow the water to flow. I’m not perfect at this but by George I’m working on it.
I hope you do too,
So much love: